Detoxing From Bad Dating Behaviors

Have you been returning to old pastures a bit too often in the quest for your perfect person? Perhaps dating cheater after cheater or “nice but not quite” again and again? Then, you too can try the patented new detox system for worn and weary daters for only $99.99 per month. Known for its effectiveness [...]

Vulnerability: How and When Do You Share?

My group of friends circled around a dating issue this past week that we’ve all struggled with at one time or another… when do you let down your guard in a relationship? I realized that this may, in fact, be a largely determining factor in what kind of relationships you end up having with your [...]

This Chemistry is Killing Me!

You know what drives me nuts? Justifying obvious red flags because “chemistry” has turned your brain into cat food.
I know, I know… we ALL do it. Everything from ignoring that you’ve never actually spent time with the person when they are sober to the odd feeling that they aren’t *really* telling the truth about what [...]

Post Date Wrap Up

“They had such a cool way of looking at the world. I really admire that. Not sure they’re really my type, but I want to give them another chance. I think I could grow into being more attracted…”
“Yup, a hottie! Well, they did have this weird thing about the end of their nose and their [...]

Cranky Triggers: Or signs that you might be about to fall off the relationship balance beam

I get cranky.
I have bad days.
And those who love me well know the secrets towards making sure they don’t end up spending the day with a cranky, zombie girl.
After experiencing plenty of times when I was trying to keep up with friends after after a night with too little sleep or a day with too [...]

The Final Horseman of the Relationship Apocalypse: Horseman 4

I’ve been reading John Gottman’s book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail” and found his four primary indicators of the eminent demise of a relationship fascinating. The first three indicators covered were criticism, contempt and defensiveness. Bringing all three to a culminating point, Gottman’s last horsemen for the destruction of a relationship is “stonewalling.”
He says:
Stonewalling often [...]

The Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse: Horseman 3

Continuing from the posts referring to John Gottman’s Second Horseman: Contempt and First Horseman: Criticism from “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail,” today brings the third Horseman to the stage: Defensiveness.
The fact that defensiveness is an understandable reaction to feeling besieged is one reason it is so destructive — the “victim” doesn’t see anything wrong with being [...]

The Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse: Horseman 2

Continuing from the post referring to John Gottman’s First Horseman: Criticism from “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail,” today brings the second Horseman to the stage: Contempt.
What separates contempt from criticism is the intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner. With your words and body language, you’re lobbing insults right into the heart of your partner’s sense [...]

The Four Horsemen of a Relationship Apocalypse: Horseman One

I’ve been reading a book by John Gottman called “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail” and it occurred to me, as I was reading, that a lot of this information would be helpful in dating relationships as well. For the next few days I am going to share excerpts from a concept that he calls the [...]

Expectations: The Death of Love

I had the privilege of hearing the author of “The Shack” speak over the weekend and something he said really hit those — must blog, must blog — chords. He was talking about the forgiveness process inherent in all relationships and the need to extend grace, compassion and forgiveness even when you don’t think someone [...]