Long Distance Romance

Long distance romance. Plausible or just a pain?

I’ve been getting lots of requests for a few posts on long distance romance, so lets talk about it.

Some people claim they will go anywhere and do anything for love. Traveling every other weekend to see each other, moving states and jobs, living with a phone in their ear and keyboard under their fingers. Others scoff at the possibility of making it last claiming things like “out of sight, out of mind,” “how can you really get to know someone when you aren’t living close enough to each other to ‘do life’ together,” or even that they might find love at a distance but settle for the person thats closer at hand since life is complicated enough without adding in some improbable relationship into the mix.

So, did you happen to meet someone from another city and don’t know if you can make it work? Were you blissfully bumping along in the same town and then one or the other of you got transferred? Personally, I think anything is possible, but you have to know yourself well to know if long distance is a possibility for you. A long distance relationship (LDR) brings the same set of challenges a local relationship does plus the added element of needing to resolve the issues even if you can’t be face to face…

Detoxing From Bad Dating Behaviors

Have you been returning to old pastures a bit too often in the quest for your perfect person? Perhaps dating cheater after cheater or “nice but not quite” again and again? Then, you too can try the patented new detox system for worn and weary daters for only $99.99 per month. Known for its effectiveness [...]

Social Media Dating Etiquette

“So, I got this INSANE email from some girl claiming to be his girlfriend on Facebook today…”
Raise your hand if you or a friend have started off a story like that since entering the world of social media. (OK, you can put your hand down now… your co-workers might be wondering…)  A guy friend of [...]

The “Truth” About Why Men Cheat

Cheating, cheating cheating. Why do people do it?
Gary Neuman talks about why men cheat in his book “The Truth About Cheating and What You Can Do to Prevent it.” I’ll admit that I heard about him first when I was looking around www.Oprah.com several months back but haven’t been able to get his assertions on [...]

What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back.

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of [...]

Expectations: The Death of Love

I had the privilege of hearing the author of “The Shack” speak over the weekend and something he said really hit those — must blog, must blog — chords. He was talking about the forgiveness process inherent in all relationships and the need to extend grace, compassion and forgiveness even when you don’t think someone [...]

The Tweet and Run: Or how to date smart in the world of social networking

Except for the under a rock dwellers, most people have embraced the rules that govern the Googleverse as far as being aware of what a name search will reveal about who you are and what you’ve done. Job seekers strive to create a professional presence through various means and business owners jockey for search placement [...]

Does Hooking Up Hurt You?

I found a great article I wanted to share parts of and see if you all agree… I’m interested in knowing if the guys agree that men can engage in “hook-up sex” with little to no emotional repercussions. Do the female readers agree that its hard to disconnect emotionally after a “hook up?” Let me [...]

Can You Work Through It or Should You Break Up?

We are so quick to pick apart our date or relationship… she seems a bit heavier than what you normally prefer, he isn’t as ambitious as you would like, he’s kind of messy, she’s too bossy… basically the other person just isn’t what you imagined for yourself. People become disposable commodities who either fit on our checklist of what we want or they are discarded for being less than perfect.

But what happens when someone surprises you? They don’t fit the checklist and you just can’t keep yourself from loving them anyway. When do you throw away your check list and when do you pay attention to the imperfections? How do you know if your preferences are requires or desires and does the difference matter?

I think the difference matters. Yes, we all want what we not only require but what we desire… but sometimes our desires can outstrip our requires by a long shot and that’s when we run the danger of asking more from one human being than is humanly possible.

If you keep finding yourself running the same relationship patterns of finding someone, dating for a certain length of time and then dumping them or not being able to find someone to fit your standards, perhaps take a look at your require v. desire list and see what’s going on…

Do You Play The Game Or Show Up As Yourself?

Games. After spending a few hours perusing some online dating profiles, I noticed that about 90% mention some sort of abhorrence to game playing or being considered a game player. Statements like, “I don’t play games and if you are a game player, keep moving along…” or “games are for children so if you’re into playing games take yourself back to the kiddie pool…” or “game players need not apply…” lead me to think that game playing is NOT considered a good thing in today’s dating game. And yet, do you think 90% of today’s daters really avoid game playing?