Social Media Dating Etiquette

“So, I got this INSANE email from some girl claiming to be his girlfriend on Facebook today…”
Raise your hand if you or a friend have started off a story like that since entering the world of social media. (OK, you can put your hand down now… your co-workers might be wondering…)  A guy friend of [...]

It may be a heart breaking economy but what’s the upside?

According to a survey released by  ING Direct on Monday, (don’t ask me why an international bank would be asking questions about romance on a survey… but anyway…) this recession is breaking American hearts. Apparently, we are weathering the storm less gracefully than our romantically inclined counterparts in other countries.
Survey says

What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back.

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of [...]

Playing with Fire Makes for Nasty Burns

It started as something a bit naughty and perhaps forbidden. Oh the delight as butterflies danced in your tummy… when to see this delicious specimen of humanity again? Hard to keep your hands off each other. Definitely a challenge to not pass too much emotion right along with that sample of the wine in your [...]

To Friend or Not to Friend: The Ex is the Question.

I read a post yesterday that really made me think about the whole “to friend or not friend” an ex question. Roxanne shared on her blog that she’s not only friends with her exes but that they have taught her valuable lessons about herself she’s using to help her along the dating path. To be [...]

Letting Go of the Control Freak

We meet the control freaks at work and we can’t do much except to learn to work with them or look for other opportunities. We’ve likely all felt the controlling hand of a parent who can’t let go or a friend who thinks they know better than we do. Some of us are the control freaks who don’t know how or when to let go and some of us just date them.

The difference between a “control freak” and someone who is just really organized and detail oriented? Trying to control the thoughts and actions of friends/family/dates/coworkers and being unable to take a big picture view. Does it really matter that the dishwasher isn’t loaded your way and the towels are folded “wrong?” Does it matter more that he brought you the right color roses or that he brought you roses at all?

Heartbreakers Fear Broken Hearts

If you’re known as a heart breaker, is it because you’re afraid to have your heart broken?

After breaking up with the majority or your relationships, you’ve seen a fair range of tears and anger, sighs and recriminations and my guess is… that you fear being on the receiving end of it. After all, you’ve seen what the pain of a broken heart can bring so why put yourself in the way of that steam roller?

Are You A “Spring Fling?”

Perhaps due to travels in places like Chicago, Vancouver and Seattle on the cusp of winter’s end, I’m noticing a trend in descriptions of dating partners. It seems that you can be a “winter” girl/boyfriend, a “spring fling,” “summer fun” or a “fall” date and that each season corresponds to what daters are looking for in particular seasons of the year.

So, what is it about seasonal change that affects the nature of what someone is looking for in a date?

Can You Work Through It or Should You Break Up?

We are so quick to pick apart our date or relationship… she seems a bit heavier than what you normally prefer, he isn’t as ambitious as you would like, he’s kind of messy, she’s too bossy… basically the other person just isn’t what you imagined for yourself. People become disposable commodities who either fit on our checklist of what we want or they are discarded for being less than perfect.

But what happens when someone surprises you? They don’t fit the checklist and you just can’t keep yourself from loving them anyway. When do you throw away your check list and when do you pay attention to the imperfections? How do you know if your preferences are requires or desires and does the difference matter?

I think the difference matters. Yes, we all want what we not only require but what we desire… but sometimes our desires can outstrip our requires by a long shot and that’s when we run the danger of asking more from one human being than is humanly possible.

If you keep finding yourself running the same relationship patterns of finding someone, dating for a certain length of time and then dumping them or not being able to find someone to fit your standards, perhaps take a look at your require v. desire list and see what’s going on…

Stop Trying To Change Me!

Change, death and taxes. The three things we can always count on. Depressing bunch, aren’t they? So, if change is always present, what’s wrong with wanting to change someone we’re dating? Aside from how incredibly annoying and patronizing it is for someone to think they know you better than you know yourself, it implies an inability to love someone for who they are when they aren’t trying to impress you…