The Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse: Horseman 2

Continuing from the post referring to John Gottman’s First Horseman: Criticism from “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail,” today brings the second Horseman to the stage: Contempt.
What separates contempt from criticism is the intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner. With your words and body language, you’re lobbing insults right into the heart of your partner’s sense [...]

The Four Horsemen of a Relationship Apocalypse: Horseman One

I’ve been reading a book by John Gottman called “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail” and it occurred to me, as I was reading, that a lot of this information would be helpful in dating relationships as well. For the next few days I am going to share excerpts from a concept that he calls the [...]

What Makes a Bad Kiss a “Bad Kiss?”

Since so many readers jumped on the comment bandwagon on my Facebook feed about the bad kisser post, I thought a follow-up post on what constitutes a “bad kiss” would be appropriate. In my opinion, in no particular order:

Excess slobber. If a towel or spittoon are needed for clean up after a kiss… there’s not [...]

What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser?

*Caveat* You know, it can be kind of daunting to date a girl who writes about dating. So, I’m letting the general public know that I’m absolutely not talking about anyone I’ve dated *recently* with today’s topic. *Ok, now you may proceed*
Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date [...]

Expectations: The Death of Love

I had the privilege of hearing the author of “The Shack” speak over the weekend and something he said really hit those — must blog, must blog — chords. He was talking about the forgiveness process inherent in all relationships and the need to extend grace, compassion and forgiveness even when you don’t think someone [...]

Playing with Fire Makes for Nasty Burns

It started as something a bit naughty and perhaps forbidden. Oh the delight as butterflies danced in your tummy… when to see this delicious specimen of humanity again? Hard to keep your hands off each other. Definitely a challenge to not pass too much emotion right along with that sample of the wine in your [...]

The American Age Bias

You’re 38 and never married? Why not? What’s wrong with you?
Can we talk about the age bias we have going on in the dating world? There seems to be an ideal age that one, theoretically, gets hitched in this life. While not official, that window seems to be 27-32. I don’t hear very many folks [...]

Hooking Up v. Intimacy: Mutually Incompatible?

Can a lifestyle of “hooking up” lead to true intimacy?
This seems to be the water cooler topic for the week… lust, hook ups, intimacy, twuuuuueeee wuuuuvvvv. Our dating culture tries to support all models of “finding love” but I’m kind of wondering which ones would really lead to something satisfying. In the spirit of transparency [...]

Dating with Intent: Or why isn’t he calling me? (Part 2)

Continued from Part 1
Down to the brass tacks. How do you figure out if you and he are in the same place on the commitment meter? Communication helps.
You can be incredibly fortunate and have one of those straight-shooting, man-up kind of guys around. You know the ones… found in the endangered species section of the dating dictionary. [...]

Dating with Intent: Or why is he calling me? (Part 1)

Steve Harvey’s new book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” talks about some pretty funny stuff. I’ll admit, I enjoyed the read. Laughed where I was cued to laugh, nodded my head in agreement where I was prompted to agree and held many of my questions/scepticism at bay simply because I was enjoying [...]