Ok, so lets talk dating etiquette.
Online dating seems to have affected the flow of getting to know each other more than just a little. Here are some of the stories and experiences I’ve been hearing about…
1. When a guy asks for your IM handle — apparently, it means he will start talking sex w/in 5-10 exchanges (depending on how quickly he can slide in the…”Got any MORE pics of you I can see since you aren’t here with me right now…not even one or two naked pics?” The lesson here: If man asks for IM handle, clarify that you are not a porn chat room.
2. If you use “big words” in said IM conversation like… insidious…you are not only accused of not using “real grammar” but of “killing my erection.” Hummmmm…go back to #1 for clarification and then block the bugger. The lesson here: must act stupid to enable online sexcapades with strangers.
3. If a guy OR girl drops off the radar — let it go! Although I don’t agree with the whole concept of “love em and leave em hanging” that a lot of daters these days are getting into (I think a bit of communication, even if not the best news, is better than just disappearing)…however, there is a certain loud and clear message that silence conveys. Do you REALLY think they didn’t get the last three text/email/voice mail/IMs you sent? Lesson Here: They may be rude but that doesn’t mean you should make it worse by becoming that “crazy stalker person.”
4. Misspelling words like “intelligent” and “educated” will, in fact, turn off an “intelligent” and/or “educated” profile reader. Lesson Here: Spell check was invented for a reason. Use it.
5. Photo posting: men. Here’s the deal guys, we know you don’t want your golf buddies/co-workers/female boss who hits on you to connect your online profile to you. That being said, experience leads most women to believe that the guy who won’t post a picture is a cheater who doesn’t want to get caught. Lesson Here: Just suck it up and post a picture. If you are really ashamed of being online for dating reasons, consider not dating online.
6. Photo posting: women. If you post an old/inaccurate/ etc picture of yourself and show up at the date expecting the guy to look past the fact that you not only mis-represented yourself and lied, but also have apparently low self-esteem — do you really think its fair to berate him for being shallow? Lesson Here: Post an honest picture and you’ll get a guy who wants to take an honest chance with you.
7. Please please please avoid the profile rant. No one wants a guy or girl who is so bitter about the opposite sex that they can’t even filter it from the profile that is supposed to be attracting daters. Lesson Here: Read the Secret if you need to “get” how important positive language can be.
8. Yes, people will Google your name. You might want to Google yourself to stay in the loop. Lesson Here: Google is now a way of life so get used to it.
Definition of common online terms:
A few extra pounds (Body Type): a LOT overweight (this is akin to the realtor term “fixer upper”)
5′10″: Guy — 5′8″ on a good day wearing cowboy boots. Girl — 6′0″ in socks laying in bed
Wants or has more than 3 kids: They are SERIOUS about the kid thing and expect you to be as well if they put it upfront!
Christian/Protestant: I go to church on Christmas and Easter.
Spiritual But Not Religious: I haven’t really thought about what I believe and please don’t ask me. OR, I have found the secret of the universe and want to share it with the world.
Last Read: Purpose Driven Life or DaVinci Code: Means — I have zero creativity and a herd mentality OR I was too lazy to think of something original.
Wink: I think you are cute. I did not read your profile. I hope you’ll do the work for me.
“I work out all the time” “She should be healthy, fit and active” “I prefer petite women” : If you are a barbie doll or gym bunny — this is the guy for you. If you think you might at some point in your life look less than perfect…move along to the next guy. I am sure the guys see the same thing from women in different words — the message is the same.
“You lovely/handsome…special lady/man…we have lots for common…just need $300 for surgery before I visit you”: Broken English, lives in previous block country or war torn desert — RUN. This is a scam. Likely a very gross, hairy man typing away to find a sucker soon!
5 Comments
August 5, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Online relations have got no meaning…
The good old way was fine…
Online relations is a biig fad.
August 5, 2008 at 11:37 pm
That was pretty good, Kelli !….Did you study psychology in school before, it is great ! I love it !
August 5, 2008 at 11:39 pm
thanks beryl! no official studies — but I’m an interested unofficial student as you probably noticed the other nite.
August 6, 2008 at 9:42 am
Ouch!! No sugar in this coat, ever consider writing a “Dating for Dummies” that would be true to the title? *grin*
August 6, 2008 at 11:42 am
Thanks Nickel…Re-reading it today — yes, it’s a bit more direct than some of my posts but not meant to be shrill. What can you say about some of these snafus? Yikes!
I’m posting the flip side today — so that will be all sugar and spice and everything nice. LOL