I’m a pet person. My dog and I are a bit of an item. Not in the weird, purse dog on a first date kind of way (as you can see, that would be one h*ll of a big purse) but in the, I have a dog, he’s awesome and you’d better like him too kind of way.
For example… if you aren’t a dog owner, you might not realize that the following things are perfectly normal when you date someone who shares life with a dog: Keep reading →
Does this sound familiar? You start dating someone, let down your guard and then they disappear?
Yup. It happens. With frightening regularity. It even happens to the “beautiful” people. But if you’re seeing this as a personal pattern, can I suggest here that it’s not you that’s the problem? It’s the fake “you” that keeps hijacking your dating life.
Many daters do it… first few dates are made to showcase the best of the best. It’s like one of those annoying little dog and pony shows… all cute and cuddly with bows and ribbons, prancing and perfect training. You know it’s for show, and you applaud anyway. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Well, the same thing in dating. You show up wearing your cute/lucky/hot/whatever shirt and pull out your favorite conversational gambits, turn on the wattage and shine, shine, shine. But at some point after date 1, you want to let out the real you so you start letting down your guard. Now, here’s where the tricky part comes in… how close to the “real” you was your first date representative? Keep reading →
Top 5 Turn Ons
1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.
2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.
3. If we think you’re hot, Keep reading →
**In honor of the men and women who are not Veterans YET, I thought I would re-post about Long Distance Relationships since I’m sure that you have more than your fair share of experience in this arena.
Happy Veteran’s Day!**
Long distance romance. Plausible or just a pain?
I’ve been getting lots of requests for a few posts on long distance romance, so lets talk about it.
Some people claim they will go anywhere and do anything for love. Traveling every other weekend to see each other, moving states and jobs, living with a phone in their ear and keyboard under their fingers. Others scoff at the possibility of making it last claiming things like “out of sight, out of mind,” “how can you really get to know someone when you aren’t living close enough to each other to ‘do life’ together,” or even that they might find love at a distance but settle for the person thats closer at hand since life is complicated enough without adding in some improbable relationship into the mix.
So, did you happen to meet someone from another city and don’t know if you can make it work? Were you blissfully bumping along in the same town and then one or the other of you got transferred? Personally, I think anything is possible, but you have to know yourself well to know if long distance is a possibility for you. A long distance relationship (LDR) brings the same set of challenges a local relationship does plus Keep reading →
Earlier this week, I talked about “fattitude” holding you back. Today’s post is all about what happens when you let go of the fattitude and are ready for the next step… going out on dates without your attitude weighing you down.
Men and women are both falling under the weight restriction requirements of our culture these days. Fashion designers have determined that women must be a size 0-4 in order to be considered “beautiful” (and “plus size” is anything over a size 10) and men are supposed to have ripped abs, a gun show and thick hair even into their 60’s. Unfortunately for the other 90% of the population, some of those things weren’t even possible in our early 20’s.
What pop culture doesn’t emphasize is that there are many men and women out there who could care less about weight, hair follicles or ab ripplage. A good guy friend of mine pleaded with me to cover the fact that not every guy looks at women
We all know that everything from chemistry to compatibility come into the picture of defining the “whole package” for most people. Frankly, it’s easy for a dating “guru” or “expert” to suggest that you have to get it all into shape before you’ll be considered ready to date. After all, it brings them business in “fixing you.” Simply put, I don’t agree with the gurus. I think we are all a work in progress our entire lives. If you wait for “perfection,” you’re going to be alone for a long time.
Weight, fat, fitness, health… it’s a component that’s hard to overlook. And I don’t think you should. A lot of times, weight — either over or under optimal — indicates overall health. But not always. Most people are on a continuum between “biggest loser” and “I’ve given up.” The important thing is to be as far away from the “I’ve given up” extreme as possible. The closer you are to overcoming your mental challenges and attitude around weight loss, the more attractive you’re going to be to your date of choice whether you’ve attained “skinny” or not. A “fattitude” can really slow you down.
I’m consistently reading and hearing things like, “If you’re overweight you’ll never find someone good so just eat right, exercise and lose the weight!” Well, from someone who’s dealt with weight issues, there is nothing more frustrating than having a skinny person blithely throw off advice like Keep reading →
I’m working on a pretty in-depth post about weight and dating and attitude and was hoping to post it today. And then I took my daily lunch blog break and caught up on Sex, Lies and Dating in the City. Simone posted a stunning story about a topic near and dear to my heart. Avoiding the “potential” trap. (Simone, please forgive me for not posting an entire article comment on your page since I decided cross-linking might be a better way to tackle how I feel about this one.)
The gist of the story. Boy meets girl. Girl and boy date. Ring and marriage is offered. Girl accepts with one caveat… she’ll only marry him if he changes X about himself. And proceeds to share that reason with anyone who asks when the wedding is. I definitely recommend sliding on over to Simone’s post if you want the whole story.
I searched through all my posts, certain that I’d written about the “potential trap” and couldn’t find it. And, of course, the whole concept ties in beautifully to my post on dating and weight issue. So, I decided to write a quickie (or, sigh, not so quick as it turns out) on potential today and perhaps make the one about weight a 2 part post for next week.
So, here’s my opinion on investing in potential:
Anytime someone says “I’ll love you if…” or “I’ll love you when,” the love becomes conditional. Period. Love isn’t something that can be parceled out like an abusive parent that loves you when you’re “good” and beats you when you’re “bad.” Because, no doubt about it, having conditions placed on you by someone who you love and trust feels like an emotional beating on the days that you don’t live up to their expectations. Keep reading →
Disclaimer: today’s blog is more along the lines of personal musings and not intended to smite other’s opinions on this subject. I know age is a tricky topic when it comes to dating and mating.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit sad today. I’ve been reading through a lot of dating blogs and articles online and am seeing a repeated trend of if you’re this age it means _____. If a guy is 40 something and never married it means this, if a girl is in her 30’s it means that. Do we really have to do this to ourselves? I’ve been guilty, I know. And perhaps it’s naive to think that age doesn’t have to factor into the dating equation, but why do we have to be so pejorative about it?
Honestly, I’ve been known to tease my 30 something guy friends for continually being disappointed by love when they keep dating girls younger than 24 and I’ve been a victim of dating a guy a few years younger than me where his friends and family all told him Keep reading →
When mom and dad talked about getting a little action, there were baseball analogies and references to above the waist and below the waist. Things were a bit more defined as to the LEVEL of exposure on your date. But today, the ubiquitous term “hooking up” covers everything from kissing on the dance floor to sex on the counter top at home and everything in between. For the listener to get to the gist of the story, they need to really know their friend well or ask “just exactly what do you mean by, ‘we hooked up?’”
Perhaps, instead of defining “hooking up” by how far or how much (since everyone has different opinions of what exactly hooking up entails,) perhaps we could start looking at the term “hooking up” as a way to define what you intend to do about it instead.
As I see it, there are a few categories of “hooking up:” Keep reading →
